Warning: Cheesy Post

The past few days, I've been having a rough time. A lot of it involved trying so hard at trying to be great at what I do and constantly comparing myself to others. I realize that...

1. I'll never be like Rukenshin
2. I'm a Taru and as a Taru, I'm bottom tier for melee jobs
3. There will always be someone better than me, one way or another

And that's really the thing, I'll never be able to reach full potential because I, myself, have limitations that will always conflict me from reaching that full potential. Another thing is that I should not be bothered by this, which is what I have been doing lately and I'm pretty sure its annoying a lot of people in my LS. For that, I apologize to DRF and especially to Liseth.

Anyways, this isn't me saying that I suck, I give up and that I'll never amount to anything in any situation. Its more like me saying "I think I'm the fucking best for what its worth and really, why should I give a damn what other people think?" This kind of mentality can appear to be rather stubborn and could be associated with people who wear Domarus and Sun Rings... but, I think if one can't feed their ego, they're most likely going to be self-defeating and will look down upon themselves.

That is the thing about being in such a great LS as DownRightFierce. I sit there thinking "Man, this LS can handle everything... that means I can get everything or anything that I want in due time." This isn't like a lewthoar thing but rather you sit there in that LS going "I can BE the BEST there ever was." Thing is, that drove me to lose a lot of hours of sleep for a damn Ace Helm that never appeared, not enjoying Salvage for the challenge but just the equipment I would be getting and heck... I didn't care about winning Ouryu, I was more concerned about the gil I would get so I can buy a Hauby +1.

I, for the most part, have lost the real point of me playing this game in the first place. I realize this now and while I still want these things, I don't want to make it a priority because then I would have an obsession with trying to get these items that I would go towards any length to get them and that just makes the game appear more like shit to me. Trust me, I know the game has some pretty bad things to it but it comes with a LOT of good things with it too... it can be easy to forget the good stuff.

I owe a lot of thanks to Lissy and DRF for allowing me to enjoy end game. I don't know how long this shell will last. It could break tomorrow... it could break 20 years from now. I should be spending each of those moments doing something with the LS and make those moments good. Not just for me but for everyone else, I want all of us in this LS to enjoy what we do and being able to enjoy doing the things with other LS mates. I certainly want to be with Liseth for all the good times as much as I can, in real life and in game despite the fact that we are miles away from each other. I may be unable to be with her in real life for a duration of time... so I gotta do with what I got and that would be to do things with her in game. I love her with every inch of my Taru and Asian Male Heart and I wish for nothing but good memories.

Not to drag my real life into this but... this is kinda how I feel, even if it is a bit cheesy.

May your adventures in Vana'diel (and in real life) be memorable~