The Worst Luck

I've kinda been thinking about it for a bit and I never really found any sort of correlation to this (not that luck can be related to anything really)... but, I have came to the solid conclusion that I am fucked for the rest of my FFXI life.

Reasoning: Everything involves me getting shafted in someway.

Now how did I come to this reasoning? I've noticed in the past few weeks/month/years that I really have gotten the blunt end of a lot of things. Now, this isn't me saying that I rightfully own this amount of gil because I put that much effort into it... but rather, it's me complaining about the fact that when there is an opportunity to get something, I get the shit end of the stick.

Let me give some examples:

1. KS30 ODS with some LS members. The rule: Their Orb, Their Drops. If I recall, 4/6 of the runs had a V. Claw in their drops, I wasn't one of them.

2. Gration with NQ Shield Pop: Did about a good run with 4 NQ involved... 3/4, I didn't get a Tatami Shield on mine (nor have I ever did in my entire FFXI life for my own personal benefit).

3. The week I left Cerb, old LS did Xarc, ended up with a Surcoat that would have gone to me. Have not seen a single Surcoat drop sense.

4. Camping KV for a duration of time, never ending up seeing it many times. Had a good stream of KV kills and I never got an Ace's Helm for myself.

5. Liseth went on an ENM run without me (twice) and ended up getting great drops (twice). btw, I'm not bitter about her going without me, I'm kinda upset that these items just decided to drop when I'm not there. This included a Hagun and a Cloud Evoker.

6. A horrible Joyeuse story that I do not wish to get into.

7. I leveled woodworking to help increase my money profits... now it's pretty meh money compared to the rest of the synths I could have worked on.

8. Chocobo Racing and betting on Chocobos... never got me anywhere.

9. I've only won the BS50 BC once out of 6 tries, got nothing out of that one win.

10. Constantly being woken up throughout the middle of the night to kill Cerberus, with me sorta wanting an Algol. I passed it many times and I never got one, probably won't because Cerberus is not really our active target any more... I got a mantle at least.

11. I mysteriously always break my Robber Rig whenever I try to skill up fishing within the first few casts. The line would break even on zero HP.

12. My WS accuracy on SAM just feels horrible. I'm loading up on accuracy all the time and when there is a situation where I need a WS to come out to save my life, I whiff it.

13. All I've been getting is crappy level sync parties for my MNK outside of LS with pick up parties. Most of my XP have been with my LS members because of this.

14. I have stupid horrible luck on NMs that I've camped. The only good NM I've been lucky so far with is Mee Deggi. Everything else have been pretty mean to me, especially with the Purple Belt Ram NMs not spawning for 10+ hours.

15. Prior to joining Chin's group for Nyzul, I've been having horrible luck in trying to get one working. I'm glad this one is working because I was about to punch a train.

There are a few things I'm lucky with... very few things but the unluckiness completely overshadows those things. Like my real life, I'm pretty good and nothing truly negative comes all the damn time. In FFXI though, I hit these walls many times and I'm really starting to get horribly sick of it.

I've had a bunch of bad things happen to me. I mean there is worse: I could get hacked or my character data might suddenly disappear with no recoverable means or something like that. But, I think of those as a huge punch to the face. It'll hurt and knock you out for a bit sure. But, the problems I've been having is like rapidly light jabs to the face, which will bruse and be pretty damn annoying because it's gonna keep going to annoy you.

For the most part, I think I deserve this much, just this much... to have something great happen to me. Like, I don't want it to be an item or anything like that. I want something that will make me feel great about my own situation in FFXI , where I no longer have to say "Man, I have some shit ass luck." Looking at my gil with only 5 digits every day and having to pay for Limbus, having to buy food for parties and so on and so forth, I can only afford these things so much and as much as I'd love to be frugal and not have to pay for them, I have to and until I find something that will net me a huge amount of gil, I'm going to be stuck in this situation where I can't advance and I'm going backwards. It's something that can drive me insane and will probably cause me to take a huge break just so I can figure out how to make gil with how the economy is nowadays.

That's pretty much my rant for the day. Really, maybe I'm not looking hard enough to find something that will increase my luck or to better take advantage of things. I do know this much though: I think the next time I can "fairly" reach out and grab something, the opportunity and such... I should not let it pass. I don't think it really pays that way and it just makes me feel more miserable in the end rather than making me feel good that I passed up something for someone else. There will be exceptions but exceptions are exceptions for a reason.