I think out of everything I've experienced in FFXI in terms of communities and linkshells falling apart, this is probably the one that could have been so easily avoided, so easily prevented. Yet the irony of it all befits the end of DownRightFierce.
I think it was towards the time where I was trying to chill at a friend's house (in real life mind you) and I wanted to check up on my linkshell to see how things were going on. Mind you, this was after Liseth left the game (and the linkshell) but before she came back to go to Carbuncle.
You know, now that I think about it, the "sacks" and "shell" and leaders and who is in charge... You can sort of, in a sense, call it a selfish reason to tell people what to do.
Anyways...
I was glad there were some hard liquor that night. Perhaps it is wrong of me to make a big deal about a game and a group of people that play with within that game, but when I treat those people as if they were a part of my own online family, it kinda sucks knowing stuff is falling apart, stuff is flying out the window, people are going bonkers and nuts over things.
Ever had the feeling that your own thoughts were simply implanted in you by your own peers, in order to make things peaceful and uneventful? I think I have this feeling all the time.
I think Nyanoh, being the sweetest mithracat that I know, probably got the very blunt end of all this among the sacks. I mean, you exit the game (which btw, if i recall, Thelan was pissing the crap out of her by requesting haste so damn much) and take a break to get married to the luckiest guy in the world (Pascale) and you come back and POOF, shit happens... that is just wrong to ask of a human to deal with, no matter who the heck you are.
You also have to sit down and consider what everything kind of means at this point. DownRightFierce became home to the lootwhores. At least, this is what I felt when even my own sacks were just throwing emotional fits over items. As stated before, I think a lot of people noticed this and thankfully, they left when they did. It was just going to boil up more inside them and worse crap is gonna happen. A good example was Synthetik, a fairly cool Mithra THF that I know and I respect the guy for what he does.
You know, I wouldn't want to be in DRF if I wasn't the leader of it, at this at this point in time.
Back to Synthetik. I think he left right around the time Thelan was leveling THF and I'm pretty sure, while not immediate, he left due to that fact among other things (I think Thelan was pissing him off quite a bit... see the trend?).
You know, anger is a hell of an emotion.
Thelan stepped over the line many times. Really he has. It has been pretty hard to keep interest in running the shell when I have to constantly keep an eye on the guy just to make sure he doesn't say the wrong shit. Heck, we had our arguments and I'm pretty sure that demoralized some people.
You figured I would have been just fine running the linkshell with Liseth and Nyanoh and just stick to my systematic way of going about things...
What sucks is that a lot of friendships and trust kinda blew apart in this LS. A bit of a sad thing considering where everyone came from.
So how did DownRightFierce end? A few said it ended before it begun, a few said it ended when Liseth left, a few said it ended when I left, many got to experience the actual ending when Thelan called it quits.
Lets refer back to those moments and you can decide.
August 13th 2007: Liseth leaves the game.
During the past few weeks prior to this event, Thelan was out with his family but struggles to stay in the linkshell, trying to do things with his limited computer. This caused a bit of drama among the crew, considering that Thelan, while trying hard to make events, often half-assed things though unintentionally. What really peeved off a lot of people was when we had 2 Kirins and we had 2 people set for W. Legs. One other person (I forgot who, sorry) and Thelan in that order. Thelan was not at all in the first Kirin but was pulled up for the second Kirin since the W. Legs would drop there and then. While I honestly did not care too much, many other people did.
It kept getting worse, they try to make it to meetings but a lot of the meetings end up being emotional garbage, either due to people being crabby or people stepping on the wrong foot. Remember when I said Thelan should shut his mouth sometimes? Oh, I didn't say it like that... maybe I should more actually. But yeah, Thelan should have kept his mouth shut and stop causing problems, as things were already in bad shape.
The tension between the sacks grew a bit out of control here, especially since Liseth and Nyanoh wanted to encourage more Sea based events but Thelan and Lillie, though a bit rough and emotional about it, wanted more Sky based events. I, being the person who wants progress and really wanted to satisfy what most of the people wanted (and that was primarily less Sky), I went towards Liseth and Nyanoh. What made it harder was the fact that I, at the time, was in love with Liseth though in no way was I influenced in my decision to do more Sea because of her. I wanted progress, I wanted the Linkshell to go places, I did not want to sit down and do what we have done for the past year.
(btw: It was all Sky, all the time)
One meeting, Thelan and Lillie decided to desack themselves. In a rage of panic, we all tried to convince them to come back. This, was perhaps, my greatest mistake and I regret this moment to this day. If I knew DRF was going to end up the way it was going to be, I would have easily cut Thelan and Lillie out of the picture.
You may be saying "Well Mog, you're pretty damn harsh about this, aren't you?" Well... I don't think I was harsh at all during my entire run of DRF.
Liseth pretty much didn't want to deal with it all. Understandable, it is just a game and bad politics is just not something anyone wants to deal with. It was a pretty emotional time, it was almost as if she was the forth coming of a new era in DRF but instead was shot down.
This was to be the thing that started my own down fall.
October 30th 2007: My exit and also my Birthday! :D
I always contemplating leaving the linkshell, leaving the game, leaving this stuff behind and moving on. It wouldn't be until 3 some months later that I would do that. Nyanoh left for WhirlingWind eventually, mainly due to how upset she was towards Thelan and Lillie about what had occured. I was down to 3 sacks. Homeslizzle was chilling, he knew it, he knew it pretty well that I was at my worst. Lillie and Thelan just kinda kept going for what it was worth. I was spazzing out all the time, going on emotional fits all the time.
Mogknight was no longer a leader at this point. I didn't want to tell people what to do, I didn't want to be that charismatic leader that people look forward to. I was an empty shell of my former self.
I left shortly before my birthday, when my classes were getting rough and everything just kept piling on me. Everything else beyond this point in time would involve me living in Carbuncle.
December 11th 2007 - The Death of DownRightFierce
I have nothing to really say about this, other than the fact that I know the community of the linkshell disbanded at this date. Who knows what went on other than those who were in DRF.
... I guess that's the bare gist of it all.
Now what the heck am I gonna talk about for the next 2 chapters...?
Enn's on the move!
15 years ago
